Monday, July 16, 2012

Just another day in paradise.

Happy Monday

Or is it??

I am so sleepy today. I can't seem to wake up for anything. Maybe it's the lack of sleep I've been getting the past couple weeks, I don't know.

But I gotta bunch of randomness running through my head so here we go.

I'm currently listening to "Don't you wanna stay" by Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldean. Love this song. Oh, and I'm listening to L & L play "Elmo's world" on their guitar while they dance. I love it.

My dog, Bailey, is about to shipped out. He gets on my nerves every single second he's awake.

I'm in a funk lately and I don't know what I need to do to get out of it.

I want another tattoo- a lot.

I can't stand a lot of things or people lately..

I will go on Pinterest just to go to the Humor section so I can read the ecards. Those things are freaking hilarious and I can relate to so! many!

I did my first "photoshoot".. and by photoshoot I mean taking my cousin Karissa to the lake and shooting some pics of her pregnant belly. I'll post on that tomorrow.

Speaking of.. Karissa is going to be a mommy again! Nathan will be here next month and I couldn't be more excited!

I want my tv shows to start back up, NOW.

I started watching one of my favorite shows again.. Prison Break.

Magic Mike was so good. Not the story line. But the men?? YUMS!

My kids like to use the mega block Legos as bowls.

Sometimes I wish I worked full time.

I'm almost done with the 50 shades books. I have been stuck on the 3rd book for awhile because I just can't get into it like the other two. But.. Mr.Grey?? Will you marry me?!

I might be going up north again next week for a little vacation. I wanna take the boys to the beach again and pray for a better outcome. :)

Happy Monday!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for..

* My little boys! They are for real my best friends. The only people in the world I can spend every second with & not wanna run for the hills.

* Pinterest. I have been feeling kinda blue lately and the humor section on Pinterest always makes me laugh and smile.

* My wifey (aka best friend). She is always there for me to talk to when needed!! :-)

* Text messaging. Cause it's just so much easier to say things via text. Right?

* Clean floors! Finally cleaned those bad boys today instead of just swiffering them. Now my feet don't stick to them when I walk through! lol.. Okay it wasn't THAT bad but really? The floor can only take so!much!watermelon. ya heard?

* The song "Everybody talks" by Neon Trees. It's bomb. And I love it.

* The rain. We have been getting a little rain the past couple days and we desperately need it. The grass is so dead and everything is so dry. I can do without the thunderstorms though. Ya hear that mother nature?!


* Did I mention my boys?!


Monday, July 2, 2012

saying goodbye. never easy.

We had to say goodbye to my aunt this weekend. It was hard. I feel so much sympathy and my heart breaks for her family. I wrote something to say at the funeral but I was such a sobbing mess I knew I couldn't get through it. So, I will post it here and if the family ever reads it then so be it.. If not, thats okay to. I wrote it for her. :-)

Trying to put into words what someone means to you is not easy. In fact it’s one of the hardest things I’ve done in awhile because it makes it more real that Aunt Linnie is gone. I would just like to say a few things about her that I will always remember and cherish forever. Aunt Linnie could ALWAYS be counted on for a laugh.. Even though sometimes it was at her own expense. Whether it be her always running late to something or walking around the house at 2 AM in her party dress. Aunt Linnie never took our laughs personal though- because that was the type of person she was. I got the pleasure of spending most of my summers as a child with her.. In her house of many colors. Teal living room, fuchsia bathroom, you name it. It was comfortable though, she made sure of it. She would tell me where Jeremiah and my brother would hide things from me, like her Ace of Base CD I fell in love with. She never got mad at me when I told her that the crab salad she was making smelled disgusting and looked even worse. And I’ll always love the fact that she called me honey. Aunt Linnie was one of the hardest working women I knew. She always made sure she could put a roof over her kids heads. To Jeremiah & Justin, I’m sorry she’s gone and want you both to know how much she meant to all of us. You can always count on the family to pick you up when you’re feeling down. To her granddaughters, if you ever need anyone to tell you some stories, you can count on me. I’ll tell you what I know. So to Aunt Linnie, go put on your party dress, dance with the angels and know that you will forever be in my heart and I will love you always.

Besides being up north for the service I got to spend time with my family that I don't get to see often. It was nice. I was away from my boys for three days and that was hard but I got through it- and so did they. :-)

I was able to just relax, not worry about what time it was for lunch, I didn't have to cut up 5lbs of fruit a day, clean shitty diapers (though they made up for it when I got home!) wipe runny noses or worry if I was making anyone happy. I just got to be there, be me. I'm very grateful for the break because I think it's what I needed.

Despite being there for sad reasons I left happy.

Back to the grind tomorrow. I've had way to many days off from "the real world".. back to the gym, back to work, back to schedules..

It's the "back to" week.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

not cool, mother nature..

quite literally..

It is not cool. In fact, it's going to be 103 degrees today.

I am not one for heat. Never have been. I hate being hot. I hate being sweaty. It makes me miserable and cranky. I love my seasons don't get me wrong but I have to have the ability to be cool if I want.

And I'm not.

Why you ask??

Because my air is broken. It has been broken for one week. One week of pure torture (so to speak..). The air conditioner fixer guy has been here two times. Last night we thought it was actually fixed though when he left. And now? I'm just not sure.

I don't know if it's because it's 3 million degrees outside or if it just hasn't caught up from being almost 90 in my house yesterday.

I wanna call the guy back but I don't wanna sound like a pain. I'm not the only person would cooling issues.


I hate heat.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012


Lots of changes happened around here so let's get to it.

L & L turned TWO!
Can you believe it? My little babies, my best friends, my hearts, have graced me (and everyone!) with their presence for two years. I have been the luckiest girl in the world to be their mama. I thank God every day for choosing me to be their mama.

L & L are binky free!
I was bound and determined to get them off their binks by the time they turned two. So of course I waited til the week before their birthday. It was a rough week but we got through it and now they are binky free!

We moved!
This whole year I was bound and determined that we would move out of our little two bedroom home. We needed space! Um, hello? Two toddlers. No bath tub. No yard. It was only a matter of time before I really lost my mind! Well, timing was finally right and a house basically fell into our lap. It's not huge by any means but it has all the things we wanted. A yard. A bathtub. 3 bedrooms. More space. Since we moved in almost a month ago, I know L & L are so much happier. This was the right decision for sure.

So much stuff has been going on since I've taken a blogging hiatus and so much stuff that I wanna talk about but for now I will just post this. I don't even remember all the stuff I knew I wanted to blog about.

On a last note, I wanna say a prayer for my Aunt.

Lord please provide peace & comfort for my Linnie. Her fight is still going strong but I'm not sure how much fight she has left. Please take away her pain. Please give her sons and granddaughtes peace as they face what might be her final days. Please look after our whole family. In Jesus name.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I feel it coming..

I feel it.

It's coming.


I've gone through phases my whole life pretty much when I become obsessed with something. Not like a stalker or anything. But with things. Like?

When I was 8, it was the Power Rangers. I couldn't get enough of them. (Yes, I just admitted that)

When I was 10, it was the Mighty Ducks & 3 Ninjas. (Oh, it gets much.much.worse.)

When I was 13, it was the Backstreet Boys. Boy bands in general I guess you could say. Bop Magazines, Tiger Beat, etc. My walls were covered in posters.

When I was 14ish my brother got me addicted to wrestling. So in turn? I obsessed for my favorite wrestlers. Like, Jeff Hardy. My God. Boy was handsome.

As I grow up I go through my phases you get the point??

Well, in 2008 I became obsessed with a little thing called "Twilight"

That obsession has never left me. I still read the books, I still watch the movies. I love it.

But yesterday? I started reading "The Hunger Games".. and I feel it coming. I feel the obsession rearing it's dity little head. If not, I wouldn't have stayed up til midnight last night finishing the damned book.

I hear theres a movie coming out for it which will in turn make me more obsessed.

Husband already knows its coming. He asked me this morning where I was going after the gym because I think he knew I was gonna go fetch the second book. And I was. Except they didn't have it.

I'm wigging out. I need to read it. Like now.

But, I'll wait and go try another store tomorrow. Maybe this obsession won't be as bad.

Doubt it though.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Happy Birthday, brother.

I'm not sure if I have written about my brother before. It's hard to sometimes because I'm such an emotional person that every time I would start I would be a blubbering mess.

But today is special. Today he would have been 32 years old.

Words can not describe how much I miss him. I want so badly for Leon & Logan to know him. My brother would have made the absolute best uncle ever. I will make sure that they know of him and about him. I will make sure to tell them about his likes, dislikes, how he would curse like a sailor, his jokes, and what an incredible person he was.

I have said this before but I AM the person I am today because of HIM. Growing up was so much easier with him there with me. He was my best friend. I have never met another person as special as he is.

I loved watching wrestling with him, playing online, watching TV & movies, playing Uno, building Legos, etc...

He was cheated in life.

I know God has a plan for everyone. But I can only ask again & again.

Why him?

Why did HE have to be the one that only got to live 21 years?

I know that I'll never have the answers to those questions and it doesn't do any good to dwell on the past, so to speak. I'm not the "Oh I lost my brother, feel sorry for me" type of girl. I am..

I had the greatest brother in the world and my life is better because of him, type of girl.

And that's how I will honor him. By all the good things he did in his life, not that dumb ass disease that claims the life of so many.

F YOU, Muscular Dystrophy. One day there will be a cure to that piece of shit disease and people won't have to suffer from it.

BUT.. back to my brother.

If you had the pleasure of knowing Steven Ray Douglas, your life has been touched in a very special way. If you never got the chance to meet him, I'm sorry. I'm sorry my husband didn't get to meet him, or my kids, or some of my friends. But they know (and will know) through me how great he was.

My aunt said today, "He was wise beyond his years.." and she's right. He was.

I love you, brother. And miss you with every ounce of my being.

Happy Birthday.

Thursday, January 26, 2012


My boys never to cease to amaze me. Like, ever. I mean they do some cute stuff! Like today? They both went to Logans crib and basically demanded I put them both in there. They just loved being together. When they were babies though? FORGET IT. I could never put them in the same crib.

 This is today.
This is when they were a few weeks old. Logan says, "Get out of here brother!"

Every day they do something new that just makes my heart melt. I find myself asking, "How the hell did I get so blessed?!" They love eachother so much. I love that they will always have a best friend, no matter what.

Okay now that I'm done with the mushy mush.

I was on a hunt today. I was determined to get the boys new shoes. The last time I wanted to buy them shoes I was on a hunt for like 3 weeks before I found the shoes. I'm not picky, I just wanted something specific. Eventually I found them.

This time though? I wasnted to go to ONE STORE. Simple enough. I had $30 in Kohls cash and I knew that I could get one, possibly two, pairs of shoes with that. I'm not into name brand shoes, I could care less. Going in I didn't have a specific shoe in mind, just something I could use my Kohls cash on!

My only requirement for their shoes is I don't want laces. Why you ask? Because I have double the shoes to put on and lace up. Their last shoes were the bungy cord type and were perfect. Well anyways, I looked at the 5.5 pairs of boys shoes they actually had (that's another thing.. WHY do girls haves 8 million choices and boys none?!) I didn't like ANY of them but one. And this one shoe? Was $45 and they only had one size 5.


I'm not leaving without shoes. So, as I start browsing again, I see them. Two pairs of 5's. I don't even know what they look like at this point, I just saw the boxes. And I also saw that they were $30. So really, with my Kohls cash I would only spend $30. Score. Then my mom says.. "I'll buy a pair!".. Double score.

I didn't spend a penny.


They were laces.

Oh well. Ya win some, ya lose some.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Tag, you're it!

The Rules:

1. You must post the rules.
2. Post eleven fun facts about yourself on the blog post.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you've tagged.
4. Tag your fave blogs!
5. Let them know you've tagged them.

11 facts about me:

1. I probably hate cooking more then my husband hates eating my cooking.

2. I always dance in my kitchen no matter what I'm doing.. cooking, cleaning, feeding the boys, dishes, etc..

3. I'm still mildly obsessed with New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys.

4. I have 4 tattoos.

5. I google everything. (Matter of fact, ask me anything about the Wiggles and I'll know it.)

6. My dad and myself are the only people I trust while driving. If it's anyone else (even the hubs) I have my foot on the imaginery brake and my hand on the oh-shit bar.

7. If I see annny type of bug, I will pee myself pretty much. Hate them.

8. I can't stand wearing socks. Or shoes. I like being barefoot or have on flip flops.

9. I really wanna learn sign language.

10. I'm in love with the TV show Friends. I watch it every single day before bed.

11. I have the cutest little boys ever.

Now, my questions from Jenn!

1. What is your favorite time of the day? About 15-20 minutes after I finally wake up. The boys are in a good mood! Their best mood of the day.

2. If you could have anything at all, money not being an issue, what would it be? My dream house.

3. What is your favorite kind of food? (i.e. Mexican, Italian...) Italian.. carbs are my downfall!!

4. What do you love most about yourself? That I was able to carry and safely deliever 2 of the most beautiful little boys in the world.

5. What is your guilty pleasure?.. hmm.. chick flicks! lol

6. Would you rather have the superpower of invisibility, or being able to fly? Invisibility!

7. What is your biggest fear? Losing someone I love.
8. Any strange addictions? Nope, not really.

9. What is your favorite meal to make? Chicken Tacos.

10. Why do you love blogging? I love documenting and getting things off my chest!

11. How many children do you have/want? I have 2. I don't know if we want anymore yet.

My 11 questions for you:

1. What's your hidden talent?

2. Any guilty pleasures?

3. Reality TV; yes or no?

4. Favorite book?

5. Least favorite chore?

6. You can pick only one: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or your blog?

7. Favorite tradition?

8. Dream vacation?

9. If you can live in any state (money was not an option), which would you choose?

10. You can have dinner with any one celebrity, dead or alive, who is it?

11. How many kids do you want?

I tag;

Nancy @ Our Journey in Life

Ashley @ Artifically Fertile Mrytle

Jess @ DudeandSweets

Shannon @ Life After I 'Dew'

Kaite @ Loves of Life

Monday, January 23, 2012

Messy Mom Monday

Soo today I am gonna link up today with Jess (One of my favorite bloggers!) for Messy Mom Monday! And I LOVE this idea. I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes at the end of a hectic day (Hello! 2 toddlers!) I feel like a failure because I would rather sit on my ass and read blogs and watch TV rather then clean up the house a little. So, when I see that other moms and I are the same, I let out a sigh of relief. Last night I even read some of these link ups to Leon so he could kinda see where I was coming from. He gets it now. Kinda? I HOPE.

So, I took some pics to show you some of my messy spots. Just keepin' it real. (Side note: this is just a little sneak peek into my mess.. )

 This is by the closet in the twins room. There riding toys, a table & chairs set, toys, books. The box there? It's just collecting toys. It was from Christmas. I know it needs to go in the trash. But? They like it. And the closet back there? God, don't get me started.
 That's twin number 1 getting ready to take the over-flowing toys from the toy box (that's in the living room!) and put them allll over the floor.
 Those sippys are empty. The puzzles pieces are about to be all over the floor.
And this is the dirty laundry from yesterday in the living room still. It's just waiting for me to take it to the laundry room. (Let's not even go there!).. (And, that brown thing? Is my dogs bed. I haven't put it away yet and she died in October.)

So, there ya have it. Go link up with Jess.. Reassure this mama she's not alone!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

damn snow.

This winter has been pretty mild to say the least. We haven't really gotten much snow. Hell it's been in the 50's and sunny during some days. I know we are in for it though. It's Michigan! How can we not be in for it? It'll prolly make for a longer winter. Snow in spring. Freezing pipes soon. SOMETHING..

See. Me and snow? We don't get a long very well. Actually. We hate eachother. Yeah, it's pretty. And I don't mind it on Christmas. But let's be real. Christmas is over. And it won't be back for another 11 months. So? GO AWAY, SNOW. I know I'm lucky because you haven't shown your face to much, but today? I got shit to do and I don't like when you but a damper on my plans.

It's not like I don't like driving in snow. Because I don't mind. I mind the other jackasses out there that think they own the damn road and think they are in a tank doing 80mph (okay, tanks don't go that fast I don't think, but still) on the highway when obviously the conditions call for 50. My kids are pretty much always in the car with me and that "baby on board" sign isn't doing any good when the idiots are driving so fast by it, it's just a blur.

Anyways, moral of the story today, folks? I am in a sucky mood because I probably won't be able to do the things I want to do.. because of snow.

You suck, snow.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

SO WHAT Wednesday!

I've been wanting to link up with Shannon over at Life after I "Dew" for months now but never got around to doing it! (go to her blog NOW and link up! She's one of my new favorite bloggers!)

So, here we go:


* I secretly was hoping there were no open appointments this morning for my husband to get an Xray on his knee so I could to the gym instead.

* I'm reading Eclipse for the millionth time.. and plan on watching the movie AGAIN when I'm done reading it.

* I saved the dishes last night til this morning so I could relax instead.

* My laundry room looks like 8 thousand laundry baskets threw up.

* I put my kids in new clean pajamas every day instead of getting them dressed.. unless we go somewhere.

* I have a 99% DVR full because I refuse to delete stuff that I say I'm gonna watch. Like the last 55 episodes of One life to live. I'm still bitter they cancelled it. I'll get over it eventually.. maybe.

* One of my newest friends live a million miles away and I've never met her face to face. I will soon.

So what are you saying SO WHAT to today? Link up!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Sup bloggies?

Man I said I was gonna be better at blogging this year but I've failed already. Oh well. I'm here now! My birthday weekend just passed and I had such a good time. I got to spend time with family & friends & my boys. Thats all that matters. :-)

So what have I been up to?? I started the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels because sista is fierce. However, I fell off the bandwagon and haven't been doing it every day. I also started using My Fitness Pal on my phone (the best app ever) and have been sticking to it every single day. It basically counts your calories for you and keeps track everything you eat. It also tracks your exercise & such. Basically its your best friend. And lastly fitness wise? I joined the gym yesterday. I've been meaning to re-join the gym since the twins were born but never got around to it. BUT now is the time and I will not give up.

The twins are sooo cute & big & loveable & smart & growing & so on. They are learning new things every day it just amazes me.

Like Leon for example. He is learning new words & animals sounds like it's nobodys business. He even does stuff that makes my heart melt. When Logan is cranky and sad, he will gladly give up his binky and give it to his "bruba"..

Logan is a firecracker. He is rough with his brother. He likes to pull Leon down by the collar of his shirt and sit on him. His favorite phrases are "I did it!" and "Where'd it go?"

Both babies love love love puzzles! I'm glad they like them. And I'm also glad they are broadning their horizons when it comes to watching TV. We don't watch Mickey & Yo Gabba Gabba all damn day anymore. Unfortunately, Leon has started a new obsession with.. the wiggles. Enough said.

If you could... please take a minute to pray for Tripp who went to Heaven. And especially for his mom, Courtney. He was the bravest, strongest little boy who had a horrible disease that took his life way to early. It breaks my heart over & over again to read about the things he had to go through.

Monday, January 2, 2012

See ya later, 2011!

So, I was having a little trouble this year but my Top 10.. so I thought I would go a different way for my yearly recap. This year was full of ups & downs... for sure. So, here goes.

In January, I celebrated my 26th year of being alive. My family & I also participated in a Muscle Walk at Ford Field for Muscular Dystrophy. It happened to be on my brothers birthday, he would have been 31. The twins turned 7 months old. Logans eczema was out of control. Leon started saying "baba"

February is always a drag because that is the month by brother died. On the 15th it was 10 YEARS on this earth without my big brother. Needless to say, we don't celebrate Valentines Day around here. Also this month? I FINALLY paid off my student loans. Yes, that was momentous.

In March my dad was admitted to the hospital with pancreatitis. He was in there for 12 days. That was extremely rough. I started babyproofing this month because the boys started getting really mobile! I'm pretty sure Logan started crawling this month. Leon was rolling. I started planning the twins FIRST birthday!

April was a blur for me. I was sick for most of the month. I was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. That was the first time I was away from my boys for more then one night. It sucked. The babies also celebrated their first Easter. My mom's 50th birthday was also this month. Logan started crawling.

May was another sucky month- hospital wise. Leon (baby) was admitted to Childrens Hospital for his asthma. This was the month he was actually "diagnosed" with it. It was horrible. However, Leon started crawling. Leon also started blowing kisses & waving bye ye.

June was the best month! Leon & I both took a week of vacation for the boys first birthday week. We went to the zoo. We went to the Hands on Museum. We saw lots of family (most of them met the boys for the first time).. We had the Muscular Dystrophy bowling tournament. AND! We had a kick ass first birthday party for our little guys. All of our family and friends joined us to celebrate Leon & Logans first year of life. Oh and the husband was admitted to the hospital for chest pains.

In July we took the boys swimming for the first time in a big pool. They adored it. They also played in the grass for the first time. Logan started walking! Leon started crawling. We spent a lot of time with family.

In August, we took the boys to Chuck E Cheese. I dyed my hair from blonde to dark brown! My BFF Nancy got married! My husband celebrated the big THREE-OH. And we also celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary.

September was one of my saddest months. I lost my babygirl (doggy) Maxi. She was 15 years old. We went to a concert. We stayed at Greektown Casino and stayed the night there to celebrate our anniversary. Leon & Logan started developing the "twin language"..

In October, Leon started walking! (he really started walking in September, kind)  I lost my mojo. Leon & Logan were sick again. (Asthmas issues). My dads birthday. L & L dressed as crayons for Halloween. My cousin Kenny passed away. The boys stayed in a hotel with us.

In November, Logan was admitted to the hospital for breathing issues. That damn asthma. I signed up to start selling Scentsy as a second job. I LOVE IT! My cousin Nicole got married.

December was CHRISTMAS! We had a lot of fun shopping, opening presents, spending time with family. I got promoted with Scentsy. Leon and Logan started communicating with eachother a lot more.

And that? Was my 2011 in a nutshell. I go to be a mom for ONE FULL YEAR. God, I am blessed. I am SO looking forward to 2012. I have so many goals! No resolutions. Just goals. And here are some of them!

* Making sure I have a successful Scentsy business.

* Be the BEST mother I could possibly be.

* Go to Zumba at least once a week with Kelly.

* Get healthy!

* Get financially stable. I am tired of living paycheck to paycheck.

* Move into a new house.

* Get a second car.

* Get another pet.

* Make 2012 the most enjoyable year I can with my boys.

* AND not take anything for granted.

Bring on the new year!!