I'm not sure if I have written about my brother before. It's hard to sometimes because I'm such an emotional person that every time I would start I would be a blubbering mess.
But today is special. Today he would have been 32 years old.
Words can not describe how much I miss him. I want so badly for Leon & Logan to know him. My brother would have made the absolute best uncle ever. I will make sure that they know of him and about him. I will make sure to tell them about his likes, dislikes, how he would curse like a sailor, his jokes, and what an incredible person he was.
I have said this before but I AM the person I am today because of HIM. Growing up was so much easier with him there with me. He was my best friend. I have never met another person as special as he is.
I loved watching wrestling with him, playing online, watching TV & movies, playing Uno, building Legos, etc...
He was cheated in life.
I know God has a plan for everyone. But I can only ask again & again.
Why did HE have to be the one that only got to live 21 years?
I know that I'll never have the answers to those questions and it doesn't do any good to dwell on the past, so to speak. I'm not the "Oh I lost my brother, feel sorry for me" type of girl. I am..
I had the greatest brother in the world and my life is better because of him, type of girl.
And that's how I will honor him. By all the good things he did in his life, not that dumb ass disease that claims the life of so many.
F YOU, Muscular Dystrophy. One day there will be a cure to that piece of shit disease and people won't have to suffer from it.
BUT.. back to my brother.
If you had the pleasure of knowing Steven Ray Douglas, your life has been touched in a very special way. If you never got the chance to meet him, I'm sorry. I'm sorry my husband didn't get to meet him, or my kids, or some of my friends. But they know (and will know) through me how great he was.
My aunt said today, "He was wise beyond his years.." and she's right. He was.
I love you, brother. And miss you with every ounce of my being.